It Might Kill Me

Now playing: Jason Mraz - If It Kills Me (From the Casa Nova Sessions) [Bonus Track]

I have a new favorite song of the week: Jason Mraz (surprise, surprise, it's all I listen to lately), If It Kills Me. Holy crap. Have you ever had the experience where you've heard a song a whole bunch of times, but then this one time when you hear it, you really hear it? We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things. has these bonus tracks that are all live and/or acoustic. One of them is If It Kills Me (From the Casa Nova Sessions), and it's so perfect, it hurts. I'm not kidding - the regular studio version of this song is fucking beautiful, but this other version is un-fucking-believable. Here's the lyrics:

Hello.
Tell me you know now.
Yeah, you figured me out.
Something - gave it away
And it would be such a beautiful moment
To see the look on your face
To know that
Know that you know now
And baby that's a case of my wishful thinking
You know nothing
Cause you and I
Why, we go carrying on
For hours on and
And we get along much better
Than you and your boyfriend
Well, all I really want to do is to love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me
Well, how long
Can I go on like this
Wishing to kiss you
Before I rightly explode
And this double life I lead
Isn't healthy for me
In fact it makes me nervous
If I get caught, I could be risking it all
Baby, there's a lot that I'll miss
In case I'm wrong
And all I really want to do is to love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me
If I should be so bold
I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hand
Tell you from the start how I've longed to be your man
But I never said a word
I guess I'm gonna miss my chance again
Well all I really want to do is love you
a kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
and all I really want from you is to feel me
As this feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me
If it kills me
I think it might kill me
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As this feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me
If it kills me
It might kill me.

Right? This song makes my heart hurt. It never used to, but the other day it was like all of a sudden I could hear the pleading in his voice in the acoustic version, and it hurt. It hurt just like it did the first time. This song completely brings to mind that new, unsure love feeling from high school and college - when you're so into someone, but you're just not sure if they're into you; if you're really just friends or if maybe there's something more there. Remember that feeling? Wasn't it wonderful? That's why I read young adult books, right there. God, that was a beautiful feeling. If It Kills Me portrays that feeling perfectly. Now I can't stop listening to it, and I almost want to cry every time I hear it. Again, the studio version is so, so beautiful, but it's the bonus track acoustic version that really hits me. Wow. Keep it up J; see you July 31.

PS - while we're talking about Jason Mraz - Butterfly is a hot song.

Now playing: Jason Mraz - Butterfly (From the Casa Nova Sessions) [Bonus Track]